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Never been in love

Is it possible not to be able to fall in love? I'll tell you a bit about myself: I guess that I function okay on most scores (not a psychopath for example). I have lots of good friends who are girls: pretty, smart, fun but more important than anything else: single. All the same I've never had as much as a crush on anyone all the while I've been a teenager. Is this common, or am I different in some way?


You are totally normal! When it comes to falling in love and how quickly you do, anything is normal. Some young people fall in love with somebody new each week, some don't fall for anyone until they meet the person they're actually going to share their life with, and others don't actually have strong feelings. And most people are somewhere in between.

It also depends on what you think a feeling of being in love is, because many would probably say they've never had that completely overwhelming thrill about their boy- or girlfriend or the person they married. Instead they feel connected, secure and loving towards them. As there's so much stress on feelings in our Western culture, many can become insecure when they don't experience that they are "drowning" in their own emotions. Falling in love can be a fantastic feeling, but isn't needed for you to be attracted or to grow to love someone.

Sometimes you can fall for people you really shouldn't; Nor can you automatically fall in love with the person you ought to. "Falling in love" is like a sensation you can't control, of strong emotional attraction. But what you can control, is what you decide to do(!) about those feelings.

So just relax and enjoy all those good friendships you have already, without needing all the emotional drama. Here's to you! We hope you will succeed in finding the one you fall in love with, or choose the girl you've grown to love, and the one who has grown to love you and be a good match for you. The real point of the whole thing is to find someone you can live your life with and be married to for the rest of your lives. That's when love takes over and is more important than having fallen in love. And it's not necessarily those who start out with a passionate love-affair that have the best starting-point for loving one another the rest of their time on Earth.

Read also:

Sick of Falling in Love

Never fallen in love, -not normal?

How do i fall in love?

All the best BoyNGirl.no

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