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Fear of losing an engaged girlfriend

Girl 20 years

My best friend just got engaged and it makes me feel so alone. Because I just realize more and more that her children will probably be like 10 years old when I get married. And it hurts a bit, I'm actually terrified of losing her because I feel she doesn't need me anymore.

Hello girl 20 years old!

Thanks for the question! 

Many people find it difficult when a best friend gets a girlfriend/boyfriend, gets engaged and eventually gets married. Many girls in particular have had a very close relationship with a best friend with whom they have shared almost everything. Suddenly a man enters your friend's life who in many ways takes your place. 

This can be difficult, it is easy to feel abandoned and lonely when your best friend no longer has the opportunity to spend as much time with you. Nor will it be as natural for her to confide in you with all personal things. Nor would it be right if she were more confidant in relation to a friend than in relation to the man with whom she will share her life. When you get married, as the Bible says, you must "stick to" your spouse and share everything with him or her (Genesis 2.24). 

At the same time, it is important to remember that friendships do not disappear even if they change. In all likelihood, you will still be her best friend, even if she is engaged and getting married. There will still be things she would rather do with a friend, and you will also be the one she comes to when she needs to meet someone outside her house. She will probably have less time for you than before, but you will not stop being best friends even if she gets a husband and eventually a family.

You also don’t know when you might find a man you want to share your life with, maybe not so many years into the future. Then it might be you who have friends who are afraid that you will have less time for them, and then it might be good for them that you remember what it was like to be in that situation. 

Times of change can also be times when we grow and become a greater blessing to the people around us. If it is the case that your friend gets less time and opportunity to be with you, it also means that you get more time that you can spend with others who need your friendship. If you are part of a congregation and spend time in a house community or Bible group, this can be a time where you find new purpose to mean something to the others in the community. Perhaps you are now entering a phase where God has new and exciting tasks for you in relation to people other than your best friend. 

Although it may feel difficult, we recommend that you thank God that your best friend has found a good man. Pray for your relationship to be as good as it can be and for blessings on their marriage. Remember that he who spreads blessings prospers (Proverbs 11.25).

Good luck!

Kind regards, Guttogjente.no

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