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Confession and forgiveness

Hi, do I have to confess that I’ve fantasised about sex to other Christians, or is it enough to ask God for forgiveness?


The most important thing is to confess our sin to God. We sin against Him and it is He who can forgive and cleanse us (1 John 1:9).

If we sin against another person, we also need to confess it to that person and ask their forgiveness. If you sin in your thoughts, it is enough to ask God to forgive you.

However, if it is a recurring problem you have, it may be helpful to talk to an adult Christian who you trust. Talking and praying together can help you to win the battle against temptation.

It’s also important that you realise that having sexual feelings and thoughts is a natural part of growing up. God has created us with such feelings and we should not be ashamed or feel guilty about this.

People usually experience more feelings and emotions about their body and sexuality in their teenage years compared to the years before and after. You can’t stop these thoughts coming, but you don’t need to dwell on them. You should be aware that if you watch a lot of films, series, websites, magazines and blogs with sexual content, then this will influence your thoughts and fantasies. If you limit what you spend time watching, you will find it easier to limit what you think and fantasise about. 

When Jesus says that if you look at a woman lustfully, you commit adultery, this means that our sexuality – both our thoughts and our bodies – is reserved for the person we will marry (Matthew 5:28). When Jesus talks about this kind of lust, it is more than just having a quick sexual thought or desire. It becomes sin when we nurture fantasies about having sex with people we are not married to.


Best wishes

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