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Do people become ‘one’ if they have sex?

Hi, a lot of Christians say that if you have sex before you are married, you somehow become united to the other person, I think they mean that their souls become bonded to each other or something. Is this right? I personally don’t believe it as I haven’t read it anywhere in the Bible.

Hi and thanks for your question,

In the creation account we read that God said to Adam and Eve ‘Be fruitful and increase in number’. In other words, have sex and have children. This was the first command that the Creator gave to man. In the next chapter we find the words, ‘That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24).

People are fundamentally independent individuals. The Bible says clearly that people have a soul, so we are spiritual while having a body; we are whole and holistic human beings. The Bible says that when a man and a woman have sex, the become one flesh. It would be difficult to limit this union to simply the physical part of the body. They become one with each other, with their whole being; one whole, holistic person is fused together with another, and becomes physically united to that person. In the same way there are also invisible ties uniting two people who have had sex, and which unite them on all levels.

There are other Bible verses that mention this, for example 1 Corinthians 6:6 (which is similar to Genesis 2:24), ‘Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”’ Mark 10:8 is another: ‘“and the two will become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one flesh.’ We read here that we become one and are bound to each other as a unit, even though the person we have sex with is for example a prostitute or we are in some other loose relationship. There are still those ties between the two people, and they become a unit.

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Best wishes

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