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Guy, 16, with homosexual feelings

Hi, I am a 16-year-old guy. I’ve struggled with my sexual orientation for some time, but realise that I have to finally accept that I’m homosexual. I want to wait till I have sex, but I have put my finger in my backside quite a few times just to know what it feels like. Does the Bible say this is fine or am I sinning?

Hi 16-year-old guy,

Thanks for your question. A lot of people find it very difficult when they get romantic feelings for someone of the same gender, and these don’t change over time. The fact that the majority of people in society are heterosexual and that many of them say bad things about homosexuals makes it even more difficult. However, deciding that you are homosexual is a big step to take, and it can be very difficult to go through this process.  Some 16-year-olds feel quite sure that these feelings will not change, while others experience that their sexual orientation changes during their lives.

In answering your question, the Bible doesn’t say anything about it being wrong to touch your body or getting to know the feelings this creates. Just as the Bible does not forbid masturbation, it does not expressly forbid exploring the feelings in the anal area.

We at BoyandGirl.info base our guidance on classic Christian sexual ethics, you can read more about this on the website ”About us”. This means that we see marriage between one man and one woman as the only correct framework for a sexual relationship. We respect that not everyone has the same viewpoint, and we will not force our views on others. But at the same time it means that we do not advise people to go into a homosexual relationship, even though they are in love or have homosexual feelings. 

Even though you might think this sounds strange, we do believe that in the long run it is better to live alone than to enter a homosexual partnership. Our understanding of the Bible is that it is totally clear that it is not good for us to fantasize about people or sexual acts outside of marriage between one man and one woman. (See Matthew 5:28 for example.) If you decide not to enter homosexual relationships, we think that it will be easier for you to live with this decision if you avoid fantasizing about sexual acts with other guys. We can’t stop having sexual feelings, but we can choose what we do with these feelings.

We understand that this is a very difficult decision to make, and we respect that you alone have to choose what to do with your own life.

Best wishes BoyandGirl.info

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