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Have I been raped?

Hi. I am unsure whether I have been raped or not. I was at a party, and had drunk a bit. I started kissing a guy, and he took me outside. He pulled my trousers down, although I didn’t want him to. I wasn’t able to tell him to stop until a bit later, and then he stopped. I felt really dirty and terrible afterwards. I know that I’m forgiven and cleansed by Jesus on the cross, something that I’m incredibly thankful for. But I am still wondering if this is rape or not? If it is, I need to contact someone who can help me to get over it. If it wasn’t rape, I have to get on with my life, remembering that Jesus died for me and my sins, including this one. From a girl of 18.

Dear girl of 18,

It sounds like you had a really terrible experience at this party, and that you’ve gone through something that you shouldn’t have had to. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens quite frequently at parties when people have been drinking – people can end up in situations which they would have preferred to avoid. When a person is drunk their judgment is impaired, and they can’t communicate their boundaries as clearly as they would otherwise have done. It was good that you finally managed to say ‘stop!’

Unwanted sexual touching is classed as sexual assault. This is a punishable offence in many countries, regardless of whether you have or have not drunk alcohol.

Whatever the definition, the experience you describe was extremely uncomfortable for you and it would be good for you to talk to someone about it and get help with what you’ve been through. We strongly advise you to talk about it with an adult. One example would be the school nurse or a telephone helpline for victims of rape.

God’s grace is perfect and limitless, and He always receives those who come to Him. When you ask Jesus to forgive you, He will cleanse you from all unrighteousness and restore purity in your life. But you will probably still need to talk about this experience with an adult who you trust.

Best wishes, boyandgirl.info

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