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I feel like a failure

I am a failure. Please don’t tell me otherwise. You don’t know me. What I’m trying to say is that I’m feeling really bad. I just feel so stupid! When I meet new people I often hear that I’m boring, and that I don’t say anything. That’s true. I am boring. I have a few friends, but none of them are boys. I’ve never had a friend who’s a boy. I always feel uncomfortable when I’m out among other people. Everyone talks to each other, but not me. I just stand there quietly and can’t think what to say. I try to find something to say, but can’t find anything. I just want to cry. I have to hold it in, and that’s painful. I often cry when I’m alone. That helps. If I’m all alone then sometimes I scream. I also talk to myself. That feels strange but also a little good. Am I crazy? Friends. I dream of having a friend I can share everything with and say everything to. I don’t have such a friend, only God. But He doesn’t seem to be so alive. I do talk to Him, but I don’t get answers like I get when I talk to people. What can I do about my life?

Hi dear friend, 

It’s hard for us to know why you have such sad thoughts about yourself. It is painful to hear that you feel stupid and insecure when you are with others. As you say, we don’t know you, and so we wonder why you can be so sure that you are a failure. How do you know this? Who has told you this? You mention it as if it were a fact, and you also mention comments you have received and you say you feel stupid. We can often mix feelings and facts, or people’s opinions and facts. Unfortunately there are lots of teenagers who struggle with self-image and self-confidence. They feel stupid, lonely and failures. Our self-image changes all the time, and the picture you have of yourself is worse than how other people see you. We can feel as if we’re invisible and boring, while the truth is that people around us see how nice and kind we are. What we think about ourselves affects how we act among other people. When we are insecure and don’t believe in ourselves, we’ll be quiet when we’re with others. The more we think about it, the less we can think of saying. The experiences you have of not being able to speak, will make you more insecure next time, and so it becomes a vicious circle. 

There are some things you can do to get a better self-image and a more realistic picture of who you really are. The best thing to do is to talk to the school nurse or another adult you trust, so they can help you to distance yourself from the painful thoughts you’re having. When you keep these sad thoughts to yourself, they will just grow. Then they will take so much place inside you that you need to scream and cry. Talk about this with some adults, as this will help to relieve some of the pressure inside. You need help to understand that although you are not perfect, you are good enough, and although you are a bit quiet and shy in some contexts, that doesn’t really matter. When you feel more secure in yourself, that you are good enough as you are, then it will be easier to be yourself. How can you expect other people to accept you if you don’t accept yourself? The thoughts you have about yourself affect the people around you.

You can read the answers we’ve given to another person with feelings like you have: Hva er poenget med å leve 
These articles have the same theme and may be helpful: Min verdi / Du er unik / Hvordan bygge opp selvbildet?Aldri god nok

Best wishes, boyandgirl.info

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