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I really enjoy sex

I’m a girl of eighteen. I’ve had sex with lots of guys and really enjoy it. I like the excitement of having sex with a new person and I have a great time. Not long ago I became a Christian, and have found out that I can’t have sex before marriage. What should I do? Will I go to hell? Do I have to stop having sex? I’m a bit confused.


We understand very well that it is confusing to become a Christian and then find out that something you really like is not allowed. It’s good if you can do what God’s Word says even when you don’t understand it, but in many ways it’s better if you understand why. So we’ll try to explain some of the reasons why God says we should wait till we’re married before we have sex. You need to remember that God is not far away, He is close to you, He is leading you and He loves you.

1.    Physical closeness. Physically, sex is as close as you can come to another person. We can’t separate the physical from the emotional and relational parts of our lives, that’s just how we are created. Having sex with someone affects you both for much longer than just the short time that the sex act lasts. You become bonded to each other because you have shared something so intimate. It’s a little like when someone hugs you, you feel seen and loved, but if they hit you in the face you feel hated and rejected – all physical contact affects us. If you have sex before marriage, the closeness that should be reserved for marriage is shared with several others, and it’s easy to feel more lonely the more people you have had sex with, as it is not real intimacy. At the same time, you share the most vulnerable part of yourself with others, and this will also affect how you see yourself, your body, and your self-worth. It will also affect your close relationships with others. If sex is about physical satisfaction without relational closeness, then this will soon be all that you get out of it, and it can be addictive as it feels so good.

2.    Love. Sex is meant to be a physical way of being intimate, which should take place in a relationship in which you are secure with each other, and where you can be naked, both physically and emotionally. Sex should be an expression of love as you give yourself to the other person and do what you can for the other person to enjoy it, as well as enjoying it yourself. If something that is meant to be shared between husband and wife is shared with others, then there is no difference in the relationships and you give something valuable (yourself) away to other people, who are often only thinking about their own satisfaction.

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