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Is it wrong to want another family?

Hi, I’m a girl, soon fifteen, and I’ve got a question!

I’m a Christian girl and I like to talk about God and the Bible, but I have one problem, my family is not Christian. My parents are divorced and I know very little about my dad. On the other hand, the Child Welfare Service office knows all about me. But my question is this: is it wrong to wish that they had found another family for me?


Wanting something is not wrong, but it is another question whether you will get what you want. Sometimes we can think and dream about something we don’t have, and we imagine that everything would be so much better if our dreams came true. However, this idea we have doesn’t always match up to reality.

We can’t choose our family, we’re born into it and have to accept it with its good and bad sides. Sometimes, families have such big challenges that Child Welfare Services* have to intervene to make sure it is a good place for the child to grow up in, and sometimes they have to find a new family for the child. We don’t know what your situation is, but as you are already in the Child Welfare Services system, you can talk with them about these ideas you have. They will help you to see things from different perspectives and to find out what is the best in your case. Children can contact the CWS directly, or you can contact your school nurse.

Lots of Christian youths grow up in non-Christian families. Almost all of them have a good home, love each other, are good towards each other, respect each other and are respected for their faith. However, it can be difficult for some youths, especially if the family is strongly anti-Christian and opposes them and harasses them for their faith. If you feel lonely at home because of your faith, then you can contact a church near where you live. If you find a church to go to, it could be a great help and support for you. Lots of churches have youth work and good leaders who can help and support you. The church and Christian fellowship can feel like a second family and lots of people have strong bonds to the fellowship and the people there. You can also think about going to a Christian school when you start senior secondary. This could help you to make good friendships with other Christian youths and adults. If you have the opportunity of going to a school like this, you can talk to the CWS about it, if it is difficult to talk to your mother.

We would strongly recommend you to contact a church and talk to one of the adult leaders there, about how life is for you. It would be good for you to trust an adult who can be present for you, support you and talk with you about how you’re doing.

Best wishes

*This government department has different names in different countries.


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