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It’s hard to know what to say

I find it hard to know what to say in social situations. How can I start a conversation with it being embarrassing?


People are very different, and we feel secure or insecure in different situations. A lot of people find it hard to start a conversation, or to know what to say, while others are very good at talking about everything with everyone. We can all practise becoming better at things we aren’t so good at. Some people are just naturally quieter than others, and that’s totally fine. Don’t demand too much of yourself, just decide to be happy and welcoming towards people.

If you simply smile and say ‘hi’, that is often enough. It is also the other person’s responsibility to find something to talk about, not just yours. If you think too much about what you want to say, your mind can go blank. It helps to be interested in the other person, ask what they like, what interests they have, and then it can be easier to progress in the conversation by showing an interest in what they say. Try this out in easy situations and be satisfied with what you accomplish.

Smile, be nice, look them in the eyes and start by saying something like, “Hi, I don’t think I’ve met you? I’m (…)” Find out something you have in common, for example, “Where do you know (…) from?”; “What do you think about the film?”; “Which instrument do you play?” and so on. Avoid questions that can just be answered with a “yes” or a “no”. Listen to what the person is saying, and it will be easier to find follow-up questions and find a natural transition to another topic.

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Kind regards, BoyandGirl.info

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