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Twelve years old and touching my clitoris

Hi, I’m twelve years old,
I’m looking forward to sex and have tried to finger my genitals and to touch my clitoris. Touching my clitoris went OK but it was painful when I fingered my genitals.
I think I did it wrong because I don’t actually know where the penis should enter.
Did I do it wrong or is it painful to have sex? P.S. I haven’t reached puberty yet.
Can I have sex with someone who is between twelve and fourteen?
Is that smart?

Hi twelve-year-old girl,

Although on this website we don’t think that masturbation is necessarily wrong in itself, we don’t encourage people to actively masturbate. Even though masturbation may be neither good nor bad, it can also lead to wrong tendencies. We recommend that you read the article Is it OK to masturbate?

You can also read the other answers we’ve written about masturbation under the heading Questions and Answers.

The clitoris is very sensitive to touch, so it can be uncomfortable if it’s touched in a rough way. If a person is aroused and ready to have sex, the vagina will become moist and ready to receive the penis, but if you put your fingers in the vagina when it is dry, it will be a bit painful. (You can look up clitoris and vagina in the word list.)

We base our advice on what the Bible says, so we believe that sex is only for people in a lifelong marriage. It is totally possible to have a great time as a teenager without having sex, and we recommend waiting till you are married to have sex.

That means that we believe it is much too early for you to be preoccupied with sex and to start to get ready for it. Sexual desires start at different ages, but the desire is also affected by what you see and read. If someone watches lots of films and reads magazines with sexual content, then they will think and dream much more about sex than people who don’t. If a person is very interested in sexual thoughts and acts, it will be much more difficult to wait. Sex is very intimate and you would put yourself in a vulnerable situation if you had sex without being married. Sex belongs to marriage and is meant to bind two people together for life. Even if you want to have sex, you have no need of it when you are so young. The age of consent for sex is sixteen in many countries (other readers please check for your own country) because professionals believe it can be dangerous to have sex when a person is too young.

Enjoy your teenage years, use the time to mature and develop as a person, and take time to find the right person for you.


Ten good reasons to wait before you have sex / Wait for me!


Best wishes

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