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What is a transgender person?
Hi. A girl in my class has become more boyish during the 9th grade, she's cut her hair, uses a boyish style and changed her name and picture on Facebook. Now she says she is trans. How should we deal with it? Should we just play along and call her by a boy's name and pretend she is one...?
Hi, and thanks for the question!
The word trans is usually used for people who experience that they have a gender identity that does not match their body. They think gender is only something to do with their feelings and inner, subjective experience, and has nothing to do with their body. This is a completely new way of thinking about gender and can be difficult to deal with.
We recommend you read more about this topic here on the website:
"Born in the wrong body?"
Gender and identity – biology and ideology
It is important to remember that those among us experiencing feelings like these often have a very difficult time. It is not possible to give a final answer to what the right thing in each situation is going to be, but all people deserve to be respected and treated properly, even if we do not share their way of looking at reality.
If you know her well, we suggest that you are honest about how difficult you find dealing with it is. Don't forget that it may be even more difficult for them than it is for you. So, if it means a lot to them that you use the male name, let them know you can to do that for their sake, even though you find it unnatural. Then it is no longer about pretending that a girl is really a boy, but more about you respecting them enough to choose to use their name of preference.
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