I’m tired of hearing that I’m unique, that God loves me and so on. I’m depressed every day. I thought that I was getting better, and that I was stronger, but I fell today. I don’t really know how to explain it but I’m having a tough time. When I say that I’m having a tough time I feel quite spoiled, as I often hear about people who are having a much harder time than I am. I really feel like a jerk. I regret everything that I say or do. I don’t have many friends. The friends I do have are pretty good friends, but I don’t feel that they care that much about me. I don’t know. I often get encouragement from people, but I only feel encouraged for a few hours afterwards. I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand the meaning of life. Why is it all so difficult? What’s the meaning of life? Why were we created when there are so many people who suffer? God loves us, and it isn’t love to let people who are suffering live. I get a lump in my throat every day. It gets sore, and it makes me start to cry. In fact, I have to focus in order not to cry. It’s been like this since primary one (first grade) and now I’m in second year of high school (9th grade). When I see people who are good friends while I stand alone I get that lump in my throat and just feel stupid. Then, the next time I’m alone I can hardly stop crying. The same thing happens when someone makes a stupid remark. I am so sensitive that I can’t handle anything. I have lots of bad qualities and even personalities, and I’m not good at much. Even though I know that it doesn’t really matter how clever I am, of course I do want to be good at something, we all do. There are only two things that I’m kind of good at. I’ll never get a date and I’ll probably end up lonely in a smelly old basement. I don’t know what to do. This is actually not really a question, but I feel like I need some sort of answer.
Dear contributor,
It sounds like your head is full of sad, negative thoughts about yourself, your life and the world. These sad thoughts lead to painful emotions, and they seem to easily take control of you. It would be really good for you to speak to someone about this, and we advise you to talk to the school nurse or another adult you trust. Even though they can’t change things in your life, it would help you a lot to be able to talk about these things which take up so much of your thoughts.
Even though you’re tired of hearing it, I still want to tell you that you are valuable, and your life is a gift from God. In fact, your value doesn’t have anything to do with you. Whether you are good at doing a lot or not so much, if you are popular or lonely: these things do not make you more or less valuable. Every work of art has a value based on the artist’s name and signature. It doesn’t make a difference what the painting looks like, the artist’s name and signature give it value. It’s the same with us: our value lies in the fact that we are created by God. We can’t change our value; we can’t increase or decrease it. Real value doesn’t change over time, but it can be overlooked when people don’t know what they should look for. You can also overlook your real value because you’re looking for something else.
We hope that you feel appreciated, loved and cared for. We hope that you have people around you who notice you, and who understand how valuable you are, whether it’s your mum, dad, grandparents, a teacher, friends or others. Even though maybe your relationship with them could be better, we hope you know that deep down they love you.
Whatever the case, nothing can change your true worth, and that God loves you and cares for you. The God who created you, wants you to get to know Him with your whole heart and soul. When God’s Word and His wisdom fill your heart, they will fill you with joy. When you learn about God’s plan and His purpose, you will be filled with encouragement and hope.
In Matthew 13:44 there is a story about treasure, and the man who sold everything to get hold of this treasure. This story shows us how much God loves us. He is like the man who sold everything he owned in order to get the treasure (us). He didn’t even spare His only Son, but He gave Him for us, see John 3:16 in the Bible.
You also asked about the meaning of life and why it’s so painful. You can read more about this in another answer we gave: What is the meaning of life?
The negative thoughts you have can easily become overwhelming. If one negative thought comes, more can easily follow. Then it can be easy for you to think about things a bit too much, and you can get trapped in a paralysing sense of self-criticism and hopelessness. You might spend hours, and days and nights troubling yourself with these thoughts, for example that you are of no value, that no one likes you, that there’s no meaning to life, and that everything is hopeless. This leads you to a vicious circle where deep sadness and insecurity affect your mood and your actions, and just makes life more difficult for you. That is why it’s so important that you find some adults to talk to, they can help you come out of this vicious circle.
Read also:
Min verdi (not in Norwegian yet)
You are special
How can I improve my self image?
Never good enough
Best wishes, boyandgirl.info