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Can girls and boys actually just be friends?

Can girls and boys actually just be friends? So that neither of them will ever develop feelings for the other?

This is a very good question. The simple and short answer is: yes, we think they can. Boys and girls can have healthy, good friendships without feelings developing. 

But it still happens quite often that boys and girls who spend a lot of time together develop feelings for each other. And it's not really that strange. If you like a person and enjoy their company, it can be a place where feelings grow. Especially if a boy and girl have spent a lot of time together alone, and developed a confidential and trusting friendship, then it is easier for feelings to develop. It can be very positive that good friends see each other in a new way, and decide to become a couple.Then you have a good foundation for a relationship through the already established friendship. 

But the bad thing is of course if these feelings are not reciprocated - that only one person gets feelings. This can destroy good friendships. It is important to be honest with the other person, find a good place and time to tell the other person how you feel. Then you may have to prepare for the fact that the other person does not have the same feelings, and feel whether you are willing to tell about your feelings despite this, and how you can move on together or separately. Some friendships last, even if one gets feelings and the other doesn't, and that's great. It can be a bit tough for a while, but then you get through it stronger. But many friendships, both between those of the same sex and those of the opposite sex, change and develop over time, and unfortunately not all friends are forever. 

Boys and girls who are friends, but who do not want to develop feelings for each other (such as if one or both of them are in a romantic relationship with someone else), may do well to set some boundaries for how to be together . Perhaps it is wise to limit the time you are alone together and be aware of where you meet and what you do when you are together. Inventing things together with a group of friends, or engaging in activities is great. Watching a movie together at home in the basement without anyone else might be a trigger for some, and should be avoided. Perhaps it is useful to ask yourself the question: "would my boy/girlfriend think this was okay?". It can be helpful even if you don't have a boyfriend, and reveals whether the friendship is about to develop into more than friendship. 

Also read:

What differences are there between boy friendship and girl friendship?.
Venner og grenser

Good luck developing good, healthy friendships with both boys and girls!

Kind regards, BoyandGirl.info

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