Gå til innhold
☰ Menu

Have tried hard to make friends

I’m not doing so well.
I’m in my final year of high school and I’ve tried really hard to get some good friends for years, But no matter how much I take the initiative, I feel that I don’t have friends who take the initiative to ask me to go out. I’ve tried lots of times, and people have often said that I’m kind and that I’m fun. But I’m really fed up of going to youth meetings but never getting real friends there or at school. The result was that I just gave up. I was wondering if you have a Bible verse that fits this situation? (I really don’t want empty words telling me that there’s probably someone who likes me, as that doesn’t help. I just want to read, because I know that God is always there for me!)

Hi, and thanks for sending in your thoughts to us.

It’s such a shame to hear that people don’t respond to your initiatives to make friends. It is hurtful when people aren’t interested and don’t try to include you, and it is also hurtful not to be part of a group of friends. It’s even more sad to read that you have given up. A result of having more time to yourself can be negative, sad thoughts and feelings which can stop you from developing your full potential and living the life you should be living. We would therefore recommend you to talk to an adult you trust, a leader in church or a youth leader, or a school nurse. Although they can’t change your circumstances, or the people in your class or youth club, it could be helpful for you to talk to someone who can counsel you directly and practically in relation to this situation. It’s good for your mental health to pour out your heart to someone, being heard and understood and reflecting on things together about how best to tackle the situation you are in. 

It’s great that you know God is always there for you. Even though everyone around us might let us down, He is faithful and always there for us. Fortunately, your value has nothing to do with your feelings, your actions, or the group of friends you have. It’s too easy to start thinking that something is wrong with you if you don’t have friends, or your friends don’t include you. But your value doesn’t have anything to do with you or the others. It doesn’t matter what other people think about you, as they can’t give you value. Your value is given by God, and it lies in the fact that you are wanted, planned, and that you are a part of God’s great plan. See Jeremiah 1:5; Isaiah 49:2 and Jeremiah 29:11.

Regardless of what you think or what other people’s opinions are, God likes you. He created you and formed you uniquely, you are His artwork, you belong to Him, you are His precious child, and He loves you. See Psalm 139:14–16; Zephaniah 3:17; Isaiah 41:10 and Isaiah 43: 1–5a. 

We hope that you have other people round you who care for you and value you for who you are, whether it’s a mother, father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, youth leaders or someone else. Even though they can’t replace friends, and you still feel lonely, it doesn’t change your value or the purpose for your life. The God who created you wants you to get to know Him with your whole heart and soul. When God’s Word and wisdom fills your heart, you will find joy, even though you would have hoped for other circumstances. When you read about God’s plan and purposes, you will start to be filled with hope. And perhaps, when you least expect it, your situation will change and you will get friends and company.

Start reading the Bible, beginning with the Gospel of John and the Psalms. Ask God to fill you with power and courage through His Word, and ask Him to help you and show you the right way. He cares for you. 

Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, could be helpful too.

We’ve answered other questions similar to yours, some of them may be helpful for you although the questions are slightly different. You can read our other answers here:

You are special
It's hard to get to know people
How can I improve my self image?
Hard to know what to say
What is the meaning of life?
Min verdi (Norwegian)
To love is to be vulnerable 
What do you have?

Kind regards, BoyandGirl.info

We are in the process of translating the full content of this website to English.
Translated material will be published consecutively as soon as it is ready.
There are about 1300 questions with answers, as well as many articles that need to be translated. 
We ask for your patience and understanding for this.