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How can I tell my girlfriend that I’ve had sex?

Hi, I’m a Christian guy of 16. Six months ago I had sex with a girl I didn’t know. She approached me, and I was impulsive, and joined in. I regret it now, I think it’s fine to have sex before marriage, but I wanted to lose my virginity with a girlfriend and not to someone I don’t know. I don’t know what to do now, as I’m not that kind of person and I don’t want others to know about it. I want to know if I should tell a future girlfriend. What should I do?

Hi, boy of 16 and thanks for your question.

We all do things we regret. You need to ask for God’s forgiveness when you regret having done something. It’s also important that you forgive yourself and give yourself a new start. If you don’t do that, the same thing can happen again. It would be good for you to think about the circumstances that led to you doing something that you didn’t actually want to do. When you realise what led you into that situation, you’ll be able to make choices that will keep you from getting into the same situation again. An action always has a thought behind it, so things that happen impulsively are based on a thought, a desire or a fantasy. That’s why it’s so important to think through who you want to be, and what you want to be a part of your life. That will help you to be more aware of your choices, boundaries and actions. It will also mean that it will be harder for you to go against the principles you have. The bigger the temptations, the more concrete limits you need.

You can read more here: Set your own boundaries.

You can also read about God’s forgiveness and grace here: God's grace is greater than anything

We can’t do much about what others say about us, but of course it’s up to you what you say and to whom. If no one knows, then no one can spread rumours, but if there are rumours, then in the long run it’s better to admit your mistakes instead of lying about it. We would advise you to think that way when you talk to a future girlfriend. It’s better to be honest from the start than to be found out to be a liar later. It’s not a good feeling to have secrets like that with someone you love.

Here are two more answers to the same topic, it would be good for you to read them:

I've had sex - what can I say to people?

You don’t write anything about contraception. If you didn’t use a condom, and you probably don’t know if the girl is on the pill or other prevention, then there is also the chance that she got pregnant.

God created sex so that it would be a blessing, and a good gift between a man and a woman who are married and faithful to each other. Sex was also created so that children could grow up with parents who have promised to stay together for their whole lives. The Bible also warns against sex outside of marriage as it will have negative consequences for us.

Having sex doesn’t just affect our body, it also affects the innermost parts of our personality and our emotions very deeply. We recommend that you read this article: Hva skjer i det usynlige når to mennesker har sex?

Best wishes, boyandgirl.info

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