Gå til innhold
☰ Menu

I’ve had sex, what can I say to people?

I had sex with my partner eighteen months ago. I’ve asked God to forgive me. What should I say if people ask me if I’ve had sex? Should I say ‘no’, since God has forgiven me? Or should I say that I’ve had sex?


Unfortunately things don’t become ‘undone’ even if we’re forgiven. It wouldn’t be true to say that you haven’t had sex. At the same time, sex is a private matter and people do not have a right to know about it, so you don’t need to tell people that you’ve had sex.

Perhaps you can find a way to answer that doesn’t tell them whether or not you have had sex. It depends a bit on who you’re talking to, but you could say something like: ‘We have decided to wait until we’re married to have sex, but I actually don’t think its right to ask people if they have had sex or not.’

You can also read: Hatt sex - hva nå? (Norwegian)

You don’t mention if you are still with your partner, but if you are, then in addition to asking God for forgiveness, you should also ask each other for forgiveness, and ask God to break the invisible bonds created between you when you ‘became one’ in the sexual act. You can read more about that here: We overstepped our boundaries - what should we do? and The invisible reality of sex

If you are not together any more, then it is important for you to remember that the past has a habit of revisiting us, and you cannot control what your partner tells other people. Even though you don’t need to tell people who ask, it is important that you are open about it in a future romantic relationship. In any serious relationship one condition is that you trust and are secure with each other, and that you are open and honest and do not keep secrets from each other. This can be very difficult as you don’t know how the other person will react, but you have to cope with their reactions and let the other person have time to digest the information. You can read more about this here: Fortelle om fortiden? (Norwegian)

Read also:
God's Grace is greater than anything else

Best regards, BoyandGirl.info

We are in the process of translating the full content of this website to English.
Translated material will be published consecutively as soon as it is ready.
There are about 1300 questions with answers, as well as many articles that need to be translated. 
We ask for your patience and understanding for this.