What does the Bible actually say about having a girlfriend or boyfriend?

Hi, boy of 16!

The Bible does not say that much about having a girlfriend or boyfriend. When the Bible was written it was more usual for families to arrange their children’s marriages. They got married at a very young age and lived under the protection of the extended family. The Bible says that the relationship between women and men is so important that God set a framework around it: lifelong, committed marriage. Marriage is a lifelong relationship between a man and a woman. In the wedding ceremony in church part of the text says ‘... till death do us part.’

True love lasts
This must mean that it is important to think carefully about your choices concerning a girlfriend (or a boyfriend if you are a girl). This means that you should not choose according to your desires, but using common sense. It is totally natural for men and women to desire each other. In order for the relationship not to be directed by lust, the Bible says, ‘For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honourable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God …’ (1 Thessalonians 4:2–5).

Love will sustain a relationship. If true love is in the relationship, it will never disappear. Love is so much more than the feeling of being in love. Desire and feelings of being in love can come and go, but the Bible says that love ‘… always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails’ (1 Corinthians 13:7–8a).

Get to know each other well
If you are thinking of being in a romantic relationship with someone you should also think as far as marriage, and a lasting relationship. If you don’t think you can marry the person, then you shouldn’t date them. It would almost be the same as planning to end a relationship before you had even started it. A breakup is often painful.

This is why it’s best to be friends, get to know each other well, and learn to deeply respect each other before you take the next step of dating. Remember, it’s important to use common sense. A lot of people have discovered that having faith and interests in common mean a lot for a lasting relationship. Try to look for the things that unite you and make sure there are not too many things that would divide you.

Use and discard
Choosing a partner/husband or wife is one of the most important choices a person can make, and it is important to create security in the relationship, in the home, and in relation to the children that might be born sometime in the future. These days we often just use things and then throw them away, and sometimes the relationships between men and women can seem the same. It is very sad if we just use each other, and then discard the person when we’re finished with them. Best wishes for a good, lasting choice which can grow into true love.

You can also read:

What age can I date?

How can I get a girlfriend?

Help with identity and relationships

Best wishes, boyandgirl.info