Hi, and thanks for your question,
It’s sad to hear that you feel so lonely. It can be difficult to settle down in a new place, especially if you feel that friendships don’t just happen easily. We’re created to share our lives with other people, and feelings of being lonely are a natural reason for you being tired and the days feeling heavy.
You are not the only person who feels lonely. A lot of people experience periods of loneliness during their lives. Sometimes it can be hard to explain why it can take time to find close friends and a community you feel at home in.
In term of what you can do to tackle the feelings of loneliness you have now, then the first advice is to ask God for help. Ask Him to give you some close friends and show you how to get to know more people. Sometimes even the feeling of being lonely can lead to the opportunity to get to know God in a totally new way. You can spend time with God in prayer, Bible reading, or listening to worship. Even though you might not always feel like doing that, these are things that can really strengthen us in tough times.
There are many people in the Bible who had to deal with challenges. Joseph was one of them, he landed in prison for something he hadn’t done. He must have felt lonely and forgotten during the time he was in prison, but nevertheless God was kind to him even in prison:
Genesis 39:20–21: “And Joseph’s master took him and put him into the prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined; he remained there in prison. But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love; he gave him favour in the sight of the chief jailer.”
We can also read about David in the Bible. He lost his best friend Jonathan. David wrote lots of the psalms and came out of difficult times by getting comforted by God in difficult circumstances. One reason the Bible is so full of stories about people like Joseph and David is so that we will know that God is with us whatever we go through. God wants to strengthen us by assuring us that even if we go through difficult times He is always with us and will lead us in our lives.
It says in Isaiah 40:31: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Here are some practical tips on how to find new friends:
1. Get involved in a Christian youth group
In many places there are meetings for youths and young adults. There may well be a lot of people there who are waiting for new people to come, they will make you feel welcome even though it can take time to get to know them. Ask people you know, or look for different opportunities near you on the internet. If you can’t find anything like that near you, there might be some Christian camps or festivals you could go to. This could be a good opportunity to get to know people near you, and also a bit farther away.
2. Don’t give up
It’s important not to give up, even though it can take time. There might be someone near you who is going through the same as you, and who is waiting to find a good friend. You are valuable and your personality is unique. It can be helpful to remind yourself of this, then it will be easier to take initiative to make friends with others.
3. Friendships change
Don’t think that you are replacing your friend if you get a new friend. No two friendships are the same, so they can’t be replaced. You can get new friends, but they will not be the same as the friendship you had. No two people are the same, so every friendship will be unique. Good friendships can last a long time even if you don’t meet so often, but the friendship can change over time. Try to keep in touch by writing some texts now and again, send snaps, follow the person on Instagram and keep in touch in other ways. These are ways to share your life and stay in touch even if you don’t meet so much in daily life.
As we grow up, we all experience that people come into our lives and then leave, people change schools and move house. But these people still mean a lot to us as they enriched our lives for a time. Try to see the people you have met as valuable, and remember the good friendships and try to realise that the sum of them has made you who you are, both your good and bad sides. Try to think of your life experiences as a strength when you meet new people. Ask God to use you and your experiences to mean something for other people you meet at work or while studying, or at church. Try to expect that someone needs your friendship and your experience.
We would also recommend you to read these answers:
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If you sense that your sadness has grown so much that you are actually depressed, and that you can’t escape from it on your own, we would recommend that you seek professional help, for example by visiting your doctor.
Best wishes, boyandgirl.info