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I miss physical closeness and sex

Hello! I am a single 21-year-old boy. I'm a student and I live with good friends and I'm not lonely in the sense that I don't have friends to hang out with, but I'm lonely in the sense that I miss physical closeness and sex. I don't know who it is right to fill this need until I get a girlfriend and get married. Boy friends? It feels uncomfortable. Girl friends? How can it happen without things getting weird? Porn? It gives me brief satisfaction, but not what I'm looking for. God? If Jesus is all I need, does he meet such needs?

Hello boy 21 years

We are all created with a need for closeness and intimacy, both emotional and physical, but it is different how much physical closeness you need before you think it is enough or perhaps too much. When growing up, this need will be met through closeness to mother and father and the family. Some families are "very cuddly" and hug and cuddle each other a lot and in other families there is almost no physical contact at all. The need can be influenced by what one is used to. You can experience needing a lot of physical contact if you are used to having a lot of physical contact, but you can also experience the opposite, to have a great need for physical contact because you have not experienced having so much good physical contact growing up.

A part of the physical closeness is covered through hugs and non-sexual touch by family and friends also in adulthood, but it is much more limited than when you are a child and teenager. Many wait a long time before getting married, or they do not get married at all , and must then have their physical needs for closeness met in other ways. Many are still close to their family with hugs and embraces, some like to tickle each other's backs or hair in a friendly way. Some use spas, massages, hairdressers, dancing or close-to-body sports, etc. because in a natural way feel physical closeness and touch of other people, but that will still not cover the sexual longing.

In the biblical sense, a lifelong marriage between a man and a woman is the only arena for having sexual contact, so it is not right for you to use boy or girl friends in that way. Porn will increase your longing rather than satisfy it. Both as a single person and in a relationship, one must learn to handle sexual urges in a good way. By exercising self-restraint in life's various challenges, it can become a source of maturity and development both in your person and your spirit. In this world, it has become common to think that one deserves to have their longings met here and now, but very many people have to live with unmet longings and needs for long periods of their lives, regardless of whether they are single, married or widowed/widowers.

You mention God, and it is true that God's word has the power to fill all your needs, and can fill the lack and emptiness we feel in this life. People feel different needs and longings in life, and God is rich enough to fill all our needs. But the power lies in "eating his food", reading God's word, so that it fills us with joy and peace and makes us satisfied even if we cannot satisfy our sexual longings right here and now. If you let God's word dwell abundantly in your mind and heart, you will notice that the Lord stands with you and strengthens you. When Jesus says: "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4), it means that our needs are only briefly covered by earthly things, while God's word gives us lasting satisfaction . God is the source of life, in the deepest sense only he can satisfy our real needs.

Psalm 102:5 / Romans 15:13 / Romans 10:12 / 1 Corinthians 15:57 / 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 / Psalm 34:10 / Psalm 23 / Psalm 4:8

We also recommend you read Er sex et grunnleggende behov? and Er sex en menneskerett?

Kind regards, BoyandGirl.info

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