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Where are the limits?

I’m 19, and engaged! We are both virgins and will wait till marrriage before we have sex. But where are the limits? We’ve agreed not to touch each other, but it’s not always so easy to keep to that. Have you got any tips about how to keeep our hands off each other? From a girl who really wants to live in purity! PS I love your website.

Hi 19 and engaged,
It’s great that you’ve agreed on limits. It’s really important to talk with each other and agree on how to manage the desires you both feel in your bodies and in your feelings. It’s hard to keep to the limits when romantic love between two people is at its strongest. It’s totally natural that you long for each other and that you don’t always manage to keep to the limits which you’ve set for yourselves. That’s why it’s also important that the limits are so strict that even if you go over the limit, it will be easier to stop without having gone too far. In order for it to be easier for you, we recommend that you become active as a couple: don’t just sit with each other on the sofa. Finding things to do with each other is a good way to get to know each other in different settings, and to get even better connected to each other.

Some situations that can make it hard to keep to your limits are for example when you are alone together late in the evening, when you’ve been apart for a long time, and when it’s tempting to stay overnight instead of going home.

You can talk together about which situations you find the most challenging, in fact you might both find that different situations are challenging. Then try to avoid those situations and help each other. Be creative and find lots of different ways you can show attention and love to each other.

You might like Creative Couples and Where are the Boundaries?

We hope this is helpful. You’ve got nothing to lose by waiting.

Making love is so good that it really is worth waiting for!

You can also read:

Where should I set my boundaries?
Boundaries for sex?
What is the definition of sex?
Want to wait for marriage before having sex
Where are the limits according to the Bible?

Best wishes,

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